idée fixe • \ee-day-FEEKS\ • noun
: an idea that dominates one's mind especially for a prolonged period
haptic • \HAP-tik\ • adjective
1 : relating to or based on the sense of touch
2 : characterized by a predilection for the sense of touch
Friday, September 5, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
My Story???
Someone recently asked me what my story was. I responded that I did not have a story, which I followed with my name is Cristina, I am an accountant by day but would love to just be a bartender (being the goofball I am more than not).
I have thought about that question for several days now, "What is your story?", what is my story.
I am just a person in a sea of people just trying to make my way. I am not sure what my way is, but know that I am moving in the right direction. I have achieved a milestone this year, finally graduating with my BS. I am a mover, I am not sure I want to settle down right now and that is not to speak of relationships. I feel the need for contant motion; I think I now understand why Anne was that way until Laura. I know I need to stop this cycle of motion, but if I do…
What is my story? Everone has a story I have been told.
I have thought about that question for several days now, "What is your story?", what is my story.
I am just a person in a sea of people just trying to make my way. I am not sure what my way is, but know that I am moving in the right direction. I have achieved a milestone this year, finally graduating with my BS. I am a mover, I am not sure I want to settle down right now and that is not to speak of relationships. I feel the need for contant motion; I think I now understand why Anne was that way until Laura. I know I need to stop this cycle of motion, but if I do…
What is my story? Everone has a story I have been told.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Closing Time
"Well, it was a sad weekend for the owners of Oliver Campbells Bar in Middletown, CT. Tracy and Bill Campbell were two of the best bar owners I have worked for- and are completely SALT OF THE EARTH people. It was a tearful and sad goodbye for these owners who had to deal with more BS in the two years that they had this bar then most owners of any company deal with in a lifetime."
"Cristina...I will miss our Coyote Ugly Nights and dancing on the bar on Saturday night was the height of absolute craziness....
No more hip hop peeps slamming down drinks, pounding on the bar, slapping my arms, yelling at bartenders, and the list goes on and on ... too many stories to tell in one email ..." ---> Ditto Sarah
"It sure was an entertaining evening! Cristina, thanks for watching my back with the guy who politely asked, "Sarah, what is your drug of choice?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Whatever! If I learned anything, it is that the less clothing, the more tips! And that guys always notice when you get your hair done ....
Right, Cristina? Hey, if my genetics can improve my financial future, then why not do it up!!! LOL!" Sarah - I cannot believe the same "drug of choice" dude said he wanted to hit my apple bottom. Yah and Friday night w/ Digital 12 Entertainment guy trying to get up in my stuff when we were Coyote Ugly - if he only knew.
"Anyhow, Bill and Tracy Campbell really had an affect on us...so much so that they want Cristina and I to move to Arizona with them....so, the contemplating begins right now .....
I love bartending and if I could do that for my full time job, I probably would. It was a tearful goodbye as we have all bonded like a family and have endured some really tough nights together...much of which cannot be explained unless you were there. Saturday night was surreal .... everything that could have gone bad went bad and if any of you have ever seen me mad, kick it up 10 notches (and then the "Bearded Wonder" pisses me off which if you know me, you know that it takes a LOT to piss me off like that - I could have taken him, at least I was mad enough that I thought I could have) because of the "Bearded Wonder...." (That is Bill's name for him at least!)."
"One last call for alcohol
So finish your whiskey or beer
...
You don't have to go home
But you can't stay here
...
So gather up your jackets
Move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend"
"Cristina...I will miss our Coyote Ugly Nights and dancing on the bar on Saturday night was the height of absolute craziness....
No more hip hop peeps slamming down drinks, pounding on the bar, slapping my arms, yelling at bartenders, and the list goes on and on ... too many stories to tell in one email ..." ---> Ditto Sarah
"It sure was an entertaining evening! Cristina, thanks for watching my back with the guy who politely asked, "Sarah, what is your drug of choice?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Whatever! If I learned anything, it is that the less clothing, the more tips! And that guys always notice when you get your hair done ....
Right, Cristina? Hey, if my genetics can improve my financial future, then why not do it up!!! LOL!" Sarah - I cannot believe the same "drug of choice" dude said he wanted to hit my apple bottom. Yah and Friday night w/ Digital 12 Entertainment guy trying to get up in my stuff when we were Coyote Ugly - if he only knew.
"Anyhow, Bill and Tracy Campbell really had an affect on us...so much so that they want Cristina and I to move to Arizona with them....so, the contemplating begins right now .....
I love bartending and if I could do that for my full time job, I probably would. It was a tearful goodbye as we have all bonded like a family and have endured some really tough nights together...much of which cannot be explained unless you were there. Saturday night was surreal .... everything that could have gone bad went bad and if any of you have ever seen me mad, kick it up 10 notches (and then the "Bearded Wonder" pisses me off which if you know me, you know that it takes a LOT to piss me off like that - I could have taken him, at least I was mad enough that I thought I could have) because of the "Bearded Wonder...." (That is Bill's name for him at least!)."
"One last call for alcohol
So finish your whiskey or beer
...
You don't have to go home
But you can't stay here
...
So gather up your jackets
Move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend"
I have found new friends in this experience with Tracy & Bill and "the crew" - gotta love me some Mary and thank Bill and Tracy for this wonderful experience and opportunity. I love you guys.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Be Still
Here is the task I present to anyone who reads this blog:
Close your eyes and try to imagine you have never seen color before. Touch an object to you, really touch it. Try to label the color without discrimination or without the gift of knowing what we "label" it to be.
Tonight I lay in the back yard shoeless (go figure) and closed my eyes cuz there were no stars to wonder in and tried to imagine if I were to describr green to someone who never saw green, how would I do it.
The only way I could do it is to say green in delicately full of life, soft with thin edges sharp and wet.
It seemed so inadequate a definition in my own thought so I thought I would put it out here in the "blogosphere" to see if anyone could choose a color and describe to me how they see any color.
happy imaginations and cannot wait to hear/read your interpretations of your color(s).
Close your eyes and try to imagine you have never seen color before. Touch an object to you, really touch it. Try to label the color without discrimination or without the gift of knowing what we "label" it to be.
Tonight I lay in the back yard shoeless (go figure) and closed my eyes cuz there were no stars to wonder in and tried to imagine if I were to describr green to someone who never saw green, how would I do it.
The only way I could do it is to say green in delicately full of life, soft with thin edges sharp and wet.
It seemed so inadequate a definition in my own thought so I thought I would put it out here in the "blogosphere" to see if anyone could choose a color and describe to me how they see any color.
happy imaginations and cannot wait to hear/read your interpretations of your color(s).
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Tis the Season
Tax time makes Cristina a dull girl. I am too social, derrrrniT, I NEEEEED my girlie(s) time!!! It is 8:45 and I am still in the office - I want a martini. Let's see, start w/ V-1 (4oz), Midori (1oz), Chambord (1/2oz ), and float 1/4 to 1/2oz Jaeger on top depending on your liking. There you go, ya got an crocodile bite/alligators kiss (it's been called both - either way, it's what I want NOW!!!)!!!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
What's Going on?!
i have not blogged in a bit and i apologize. it is that time of year again when i struggle with myself about what i want to do ~ tax accounting surely is not my calling, but it pays the bills. i also for some reason decided to take additional classes even though i met all my graduation requirements in december of 2007. with work and school (and the girl child w/baby) keeping me busy one would think cristina is a dull girl, uh not.
i have recently discovered that insomnia can be a beautiful thing. there is this whole world out there for me to play in and dernnit, i intend to play as hard as i work ~ maybe ~ probably even harder. i have been on a self imposed isolation for almost 2 years now with the exception of being with my friends and have made it my intention to break out of this isolation in 2008. look out!!!
i have been watching the farmington river rise lately with all this rain we've been getting and wishing i had a wet suit or it were summer, kayaking on it would be great on it right now. especially tonight with the lunar eclipse ~ pout pout ~ sniff~ sniff.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
SHAMELESS Music Plug
http://www.hannahsgroove.com/
Gypsy Girl
One Spirit Body Mind
www.cdbaby.com (listen & buy her music here)
Gypsy Girl
One Spirit Body Mind
www.cdbaby.com (listen & buy her music here)
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Random observations
Recognized and acknowledging a familiar yet unknown face.
She signs, No!, and like a willful child her passenger climbs out of the car intent on being the hero tries to get the car out of the snow bank with no success. Sits back in the car and dials her cell phone.
Penciled eyebrows and embroidered jeans thinning hair pulled back, not to harsh, mid 50ish, skin just beginning to show signs of her youth escaping her watching curiously another passenger.
He gets on the bus every morning clutching to his chest a backpack. He holds it so tight as if it contains all of his most valuable worldly possessions. Slides his bus pass and walks to the back of the bus - always the back. I wonder does he observe as I do. We exit at the same stop, he follows me - my steps brisk taking me to my destination, work. He stands in the lower lobby of the building in the opposite corner the farthest from where we enter the building. There is a heater there and he still clutches his bag. I wonder what he holds so close. What earthly possession can one hold onto with such care and protection? If it were me, it would be words. Words you say and ask yourself as you read this blog? I fear they would escape me and be found, judged or ridiculed and worse that all the the aforementioned , Lost. This is why I take on this scary task of sharing my words with whoever chooses to read. My words may seem meaningless but are important as the observations I am consciously taking. What a beautiful journey - what am I creating? I cannot wait to see so I can share it with you.
She speaks and has a casual yet rapt audience. The young girl with dulled blue eyes watches the dialogue among the three without hearing or maybe she does. There is music or story in her ears. I notice her hands, she has a writers callous on the first knuckle of her middle finger is she a student? I also notice that her hands are not what you would expect when you look at her. Her fingers are narrow, almost delicate but not.
Again, to be continued.....(I wonder if anyone realizes that I am just a casual observer of this thing called life and how suddenly I rummage for my pad and pen or just flipping my phone open and appear to be texting when I am actually typing what I see).
She signs, No!, and like a willful child her passenger climbs out of the car intent on being the hero tries to get the car out of the snow bank with no success. Sits back in the car and dials her cell phone.
Penciled eyebrows and embroidered jeans thinning hair pulled back, not to harsh, mid 50ish, skin just beginning to show signs of her youth escaping her watching curiously another passenger.
He gets on the bus every morning clutching to his chest a backpack. He holds it so tight as if it contains all of his most valuable worldly possessions. Slides his bus pass and walks to the back of the bus - always the back. I wonder does he observe as I do. We exit at the same stop, he follows me - my steps brisk taking me to my destination, work. He stands in the lower lobby of the building in the opposite corner the farthest from where we enter the building. There is a heater there and he still clutches his bag. I wonder what he holds so close. What earthly possession can one hold onto with such care and protection? If it were me, it would be words. Words you say and ask yourself as you read this blog? I fear they would escape me and be found, judged or ridiculed and worse that all the the aforementioned , Lost. This is why I take on this scary task of sharing my words with whoever chooses to read. My words may seem meaningless but are important as the observations I am consciously taking. What a beautiful journey - what am I creating? I cannot wait to see so I can share it with you.
She speaks and has a casual yet rapt audience. The young girl with dulled blue eyes watches the dialogue among the three without hearing or maybe she does. There is music or story in her ears. I notice her hands, she has a writers callous on the first knuckle of her middle finger is she a student? I also notice that her hands are not what you would expect when you look at her. Her fingers are narrow, almost delicate but not.
Again, to be continued.....(I wonder if anyone realizes that I am just a casual observer of this thing called life and how suddenly I rummage for my pad and pen or just flipping my phone open and appear to be texting when I am actually typing what I see).
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Longing for my favorite season - unedited
Moon~waves of clouds floating, amber circles the white light. The taste of autumn , senses awakened. The breeze in my face, the rustling of the leaves, the brilliant explosion of color against the sky of the rising moon splashed across the horizon, finger paints texture feel the leaves crumple under my touch taste their smell. Watch touch taste their smell. The color fades and flies only for a season and a sea of green and yellow will be reborn but for now my favorite time is here in my mind. It swims in this season of sensual overload. The breeze causes the leaves to dance a little louder than any other season; it causes the scent of the tilled earth to float through the air - remnant's of the harvest returned to the earth to where it all sprang from. I smile at the beauty of it all, how memory serves my desires. I can still feel the colors: yellow, still soft and with life, red to orange, a little more course but fragrant until they lose their life and crumble returning again. It is warm, the sky is awash with stars reflecting like moonlight in an ocean gently pushed by the autumn breeze. Can you feel this too? Can you see it? Do you look up at the sky and wonder in the amazement of a child even though your childhood is well behind you. What if you could reach up and touch those stars, gently stirring and watch them whirl like the clouds float though the day unguided. Innocence, purity, unedited, unscripted, free flowing. What do you see, where does your imagination take you, what do you feel. Whole, alive, refreshed, truth if truth can be felt - beautiful.
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